Writers & Lovers by Lily King

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“I don’t write because I think I have something to say. I write because if I don’t, everything feels even worse.”

I didn’t realize I’d never read a fictional book about writing until I read Writers & Lovers by Lily King. To write is to wander, to cast and uncast demons, to write is live and die all the same. Casey Peabody understands this. Writing is a curse and a muse. It’s being too perceptive, and yet not enough. It’s the onslaught of details within a moment’s breath, where everything is overwhelming, too bright, suffocating.

“The hardest thing about writing is getting in every day, breaking through the membrane. The second-hardest thing is getting out. Sometimes I sink down too deep and come up too fast. Afterward I feel wide open and skinless. The whole world feels moist and pliable.”

Casey describes what it really means to write and the impact it has. To not write is to feel stuck. For me, it’s an immense amount of pressure digging into my back. Some days, the words feel dull and coarse. Other days, there’s too much emotion. But most days, it’s exhaustion. I can’t write today, on and on and on. The biggest bet with writing is a schedule. There has to be routine. Casey perfects this, especially at the end of the novel. I was constantly reminded that I don’t write enough. That my writing time is not consistent. It’s a flatline, then a wave, and then another flatline.

At the end of the novel, Casey has made a life for herself. It’s a story every writer wants. Some readers may not like how the novel ends. But for me, especially as it’s the end of 2020, it’s a bright sun. When I finished Writers & Lovers I wished for more books written by women with female protagonists who are writers. There’s more truth in these stories than any self-help writing book.